In our youth, at least for me, you think very little about life security and health. Death is there, but seems like a distant monster that rarely shows it's face. Of course, this changes with age. You become more aware of the endless possibilities of death, disease, serious injury and the limitation we face as humans. Yet, risk plays a beautiful part in that picture and can be a fun game. I cannot tell you how many times I've put my life on the line in the name of thrills; or as some may fondly refer to as stupidity. I'll agree to the stupidity part to a certain extent. I believe there has to be some level of risk in life or life just isn't worth living. I'm sure this will become apparent with my future entries.
With time things begin to change, naturally. Psychologically speaking, some may increase their risk with the increase of age in an attempt to recapture or hold onto youth. There are also some that play it really safe and don't want to even look at anything that could be remotely dangerous. Personally, I like a happy medium, or bit of calculated risk. What ever the case may be, we cannot deny time and the Reaper. With regards to time, there are physical aspects of age that are inevitable; much to my dismay. However I must state that I'm very thankful for the blessings of my physical state; but no one is perfect.
Due to my struggles of getting an education and basic life survival, I went many years without medical of any kind. Naturally, there were certain aspects of my life that had to be checked out regularly. For example, I would get tested for STD's at the Whitman Walker Clinic on certain days because it was free. Now that I've been in a stable position and out of debt, I've been able to take advantage of medical. Of course, I rushed out to get myself look at in every way as soon as I was able. The news from all my doctors was the same, "you are in great health but because of your age, the rules are different now." Yes, age.... sigh.... Perish the thought of getting old. I've already been informed by my mother and the person who cuts my hair that I now have grey hair. Now, this means an increased frequency of visits to the masochistic dentists who wants to ask me questions while there are 3 or 4 items in my mouth. More visits to the eye doctor who cannot hear what I'm saying so me telling him what the letters are on the wall is useless. To top it all off, more visits with Dr. jellyfingers. I just wish he would at least buy me dinner before he fingers me.
I suppose it could be worse. I am healthy after all! I still feel damn good. Compared to some of the men I went to high school with, I look fucking amazing! Sorry if I offended any of my high school mates....wait...no, I'm not sorry. Fuck you!! I never liked high school and most of the fucking people in it anyway. Oh yes, my pubic hair isn't turning grey yet and my balls don't touch the cold toilet water when I sit down to take-a-shit (you know you're old when this happens). I still have a small perky ass and I'm not suffering from erectile dysfunction. My pectorals are still firm too. Lastly, I still fit in the same size clothes I did back when I was in high school. Ok, ok, ok I've been blessed. But, still fear the Reaper and I know time is short. One day I will wake up and it'll all be gone. The rules are different now and I admit to feeling some of it. I can say that the Reaper has got one hell-of-a fight on his hands with me. I'm the Wraith...
