When I was about 15 to 20 years younger, I found muscle cars very thrilling. At one point I owned a Ford Mustang GT, 25th anniversary model. It was my baby! Hell, just sitting at a stop light listening to it idle was beautiful. It was as if the car was speaking some dark language, rhythmic in nature, yet smooth as velvet; bluda-blada-blada-blada bluda-bluda-blada-blada-blada bluda-blada-bluda-blada-blada. The rhythmic pulse was deep enough to reach into the core of your body and gently vibrated your soul. It was the sound of power that could be transformed into a burst of incredible acceleration with the slightest touch of the gas pedal. When pressing on the gas, it roared like a hungry lion that had been suddenly emancipated from a caged to go on its primal hunt. Maybe that’s why some would use the term “purrs like a kitten” when describing a muscle car during its idling.
Today, I still love the sound of a good muscle car. I love the idea of being behind the wheel of a powerful engine that is just waiting for my commanding foot on the accelerator. However, 11 years ago I went in a different direction when it comes to vehicles and have found a love in my Jeep Wrangle. It’s an old machine but it’s still a lot of fun. One of the big benefits to my Jeep is that it has been paid off a long time ago. In gas, it probably saves a little bit of money compared to the muscle car; but not much. Let’s face it cars are a big waste of money. And if I really need a kick in acceleration, there is always the motorcycle. No car can bet that… Ever!
I have to give credit to those people who restore, care, and improve muscle cars. It’s simple amazing how someone can do such work. It takes a special kind of person to perform such an art. However, there are those individuals who try to perform this art on vehicles that are just not made to be muscle cars. Look, there are certain things that just should not be tampered with. To start, if you have an old car with a 4 cylinder that had “pony power” (not deserving of the word horse powers) when it was new, don’t try and turn it into a muscle car! You are making a fucking fool of yourself. My grandmother use to have a saying that would be very appropriate in this case, “you can’t polish a turd.” Don’t waste your time and money. Speaking of money, I’ve seen some piece of shit cars that have had thousands of dollars dumped into them in a futile attempt make them more muscle like. That kind of money could have been a very large down payment on a real muscle car. What a fucking joke!!
To add to this craziness, is the amount of money that is dumped into an exhaust system for some of these shit cars. What is the matter with some of these people who replace the exhaust system to make their car sound like a broken lawn mower? I even told one man at a gas station that his car sounded like shit, after a few moments of him revving up his little 1.4 litter engine with one of those “special” exhaust systems. It was fucking annoying and obnoxious. The guy was obviously pissed off at my comment but did nothing. Perhaps, he knew deep down that it was true. Maybe it starts when these people are kids and their parents let them play with loud obnoxious toys. Perhaps that is something to think about for all you parents out there in the world. In most cases, we create our own demons. In any case, what happened to the sound of the “purring kitten?” It now sounds like you are shoving a two litter bottle up the cat’s ass. So for all you people out there who want to turn your old, Honda Civics, Volkswagen Jettas, Passats Golfs, Ford Pintos, Escorts, Festivas, Toyota Corrollas, Turcels, Geo Metros, and even Jeep Wranglers (these are but a few cars I’ve seen with attempted changes) into a muscle cars forget it you stupid fuck. Save your money and buy a real car.
